There's the mortgage crisis, the economic crisis, the crisis in the Middle East. The impending food and water crises. Humanitarian crises across the globe, particularly in Africa. Mass layoffs, ice storms, climate change - you name it, it's in trouble.
Our home – Earth – is in grave danger.
And now, just in time for the sacred national holiday the No Fun League graciously allows us to call Super Sunday, a chicken wing crisis.
Clearly, our day devoted to the worship of lite beer, overeating and the violent ballet that is the gridiron will not be the same. Indeed, it may never be the same again. At least, I suppose, the Big Game will meet its doom while playing host to Sen. John "Death Proof" McCain's embarrassing Arizona Cardinals and the eternally annoying Pittsburgh Steelers.
This never would have happened if Tom Brady were still alive.
Hearing all this talk 'crisis' at every turn - even from Neil deGrasse Tyson, vis-à-vis a potential Deep Impact scenario - got me thinking.
What would happen if a real crisis - the proverbial doomsday scenario - actually went down? How would we react?
Would we be overcome by our most base survival instincts, discarding our morality and social mores in favor of a live-action Lord of the Flies-style grand finale? Or would we - at least some of us - band together and fight to the end, maintaining to the last that which makes us human?
The evidence, I realize, seems to point to the former. I think the picture of the Terrible Towel guy tells us all we need to know about human nature.
But you know what? I want to believe we're better than that. Yes, perhaps that's only because I turned the channel to Rocky IV this weekend just in time to see the immortal "If I can change, and you can change ..." speech. And yes, maybe I do harbor dreams of leading a utopian, post-apocalyptic society, which will require survivors of the finest ilk to realize.
I guess we'll just have to wait for Super Sunday to find out the answer to the most difficult equation since the one Matt Damon's character solved while mopping floors at MIT:
Mass quantities of alcohol + chicken wing shortage * most boring Super Bowl in recent memory = ____________
Until then, godspeed.
dk
Instead of the game they should just put on a re-run of 'Caddyshack'... At least we'd get a laugh! In reality, I'll probably just drink until the game seems interesting... Ill buy a handle just in case. What are you up to for the game?
ReplyDelete"Everybody's gonna get laid!"
"So what? So let's dance!"
ReplyDeleteI have apparently been invited to a party at the Whitehouse/Chiuli/Khory apartment for Super Sunday, but am as always open to suggestions. Regardless of the location, I'm certain the libations will be copious.
OBSERVE!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxFzStjSCYI
NOLwizAp
promo only... i mean cop that, support. nothing guilty about this. all pleasure. strapped like a backpack.. knowledge! we can take that. wo, jo.,.\
RIDAZ: (readers:)
ReplyDeleteDK 2024 change it up on the hop gentlemen.
the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.
be living like it is that day.
be well,
co-signed
random but potentially useful:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.siglo21.com/
maybe the best mainstream spanish-language paper around new england.. out of lawrence. do you get this up gahdnah way?
weezy and throw some d's, together at last. one word: HUGE.
ReplyDeletei hadn't heard of that paper before, nor have i seen it in the chair city. maybe i'll bust out the ol' diccionario espanol and start boning up on my word skills.